He texted “u up?” at 1 a.m.

Diagnosis

You are up. You are up making bread.

Treatment

Do not reply. Feed the starter instead: it needs you, and it, unlike him, rises reliably when given warmth and attention. Weigh the flour. Knead until your arms hurt in a way that feels earned. Score the top with the little razor, dramatically. The loaf goes in; the phone goes face-down; the read receipt stays off.

A kitchen scale makes the whole thing less mysterious. A Dutch oven helps the crust do what crusts are supposed to do. Follow a recipe you trust, because improvising with yeast at one in the morning is how a small inconvenience becomes a group project.

In the morning there is bread, and there is the quiet dignity of a woman who chose gluten over regret. Put the loaf on a board. Take a photo if you must; do not send it to him as a coded message. Share it with someone who can appreciate both the crumb and your excellent overnight judgment. Eat breakfast before deciding whether to answer anything. Bread is not a relationship, but it is present, warm, and unlikely to text only after midnight. If the starter is new, label the jar and follow food-safety guidance for keeping it. Romance may be uncertain; fermented flour has basic rules. Let the loaf cool before you cut it.

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• Dutch oven
• kitchen scale
• bread lame
• linen apron

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Side Effects

You now have a sourdough starter, which is a dependent. Name it something he isn’t.